


But for the Nights

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Drama, F/M, Romance, Series: Nothing Lasts Forever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-08-06
Updated: 1999-08-06
Packaged: 2018-11-10 14:59:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11129178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Ray sees someone from his past,  Ben has a close brush with heat exhaustion, and Phil has plans for a *night* with Martin. This story is a sequel toTouchstones of Character.





	But for the Nights

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

disclaimer: most of these characters belong to Alliance,etc.

This is part 8 in the Ray/Mom Kowalski series.

Rated NC/17 for m/m relationship

"But for the Grace of God"

Corrinne

It was a typical late winter morning in Chicago. The air was cold and  
damp. Ray and Fraser lay in each other's embrace. Neither wanted to  
get up and face the day before them. They hadn't slept much in the past  
few days. Now they were only dimly awake, in that place that is only  
exhaustion. . . . . . . . . . .

Ed Pierson, a beat cop, had been killed in the line of duty only days  
earlier in a drug bust that had gone wrong. They both knew Ed and his  
lover, Antoine. Ed's mother and Barbara Kowalski were members of a Bridge  
club that met every Tuesday. Barbara had invited Ed and Antoine to supper  
one evening, feeling that her boys needed to meet more gay couples and  
they had become friends over the ensuing months. 

Ed had possessed an easy going nature. Always quick to laugh, he had  
a nice word for everyone he met. Blonde, with dimples and amber eyes  
that sparkled, everyone liked him. Even the die hard homophobes at the  
27th couldn't help but like Ed as a person. When he heard that Tom Edwards'  
new baby needed a special formula that was very expensive, Ed had quietly  
taken up a collection and gave it to Tom, explaining that it was in lieu  
of a baby shower. Jane Ellison's grandmother in Florida died and Ed,  
again quietly, collected enough money for Jane to fly down for the funeral.  
A running joke was, if you saw Ed coming, you just took out your wallet  
and gave him money, knowing that it was to help a fellow officer. 

Antoine LeDoux was from an old New Orleans family. He was Creole, shorter  
and more slender than Ed with a dusky complexion. His hair and eyes  
were black. Although he had moved with his family to Chicago as a teenager,  
he still spoke with the sing-song accent of his native New Orleans French.

The four had quickly struck up a friendship. It helped that Ray and Ed  
were both cops. There was a common ground. Fraser was delighted when  
he learned that Antoine owned a small antique book store and was an avid  
reader. Their evenings or weekends together, whether at their own apartment  
eating pizza and playing darts, or at Ed's and Antoine's apartment, eating  
a gourmet home cooked meal of traditional Creole food, drew the four  
of them closer. Ray and Ed would sit discussing cases and people they  
worked with while Fraser and Antoine compared their opinions of different  
books. 

Ed's death had a deep impact on Fraser and Ray. They were both in law  
enforcement, and felt, 'There but for the grace of God go I." 

They heard the quiet click of a key turning in the apartment door. Ray's  
parents had arrived. The subdued sounds of Barbara's voice, muffled  
by the closed bedroom door, filtered through to them. 

There was a quiet knock on the door and, "Boys?" Receiving no response,  
Barbara opened the door ever so slightly and took in the appearance of  
the two. They looked terrible. 

Barbara knew that Lt. Welsh had asked Ray to break the news to Antoine,  
knowing that it might be a little easier on the man if it came from a  
friend. But first Ray had called her, asking her if she could tell Ed's  
parents. Ray hadn't wanted to deliver that news twice and he knew that  
his mother would be as kind and gentle as possible in telling the Piersons  
that their son was dead. 

Barbara slipped quietly into the room. Touching Fraser's shoulder and  
shaking him gently she said, "Ben? Ben, I'm sorry, but it's time to  
get up." 

Fraser rolled onto his back and looked up at her. "I know," was all he  
could manage. Then he reached up and gripped her hand. Barbara brushed  
his dark hair back from his forehead and gave him a gentle kiss. Leaning  
across him, she kissed her son. 

When Barbara had left the room, Fraser forced his tired and aching body  
from the bed, dragging Ray with him. Entering their small bathroom,  
he turned on the shower. When the temperature was right, he stepped  
in and Ray followed. They stood beneath the pulsing flow of water, allowing  
it to drain their fatigue and give them strength. With their quick shower  
over, they took turns drying and shaving. Then they dressed. Ray put  
on his old patrolman's uniform while Fraser dressed in his formal red  
serge. They would be among the pallbearers. . . . . . . . . . .

Ray pulled his GTO into a parking space at the funeral home. He held  
the driver's seat forward so that his father could get out while Fraser  
helped Barbara. 

Entering the chapel, Barbara went immediately to her friend, Evangeline.  
Taking her in her arms, she whispered, "I am so sorry." 

Evangeline accepted Barbara's embrace and allowed her tears to flow freely,  
knowing that Barbara understood. The solemn services began with the  
choir from the church Ed and Antoine attended singing 'Nearer my God  
to Thee.' 

As the Minister's final words ended, Antoine, following an old tradition,  
leaned down and placed a kiss on Ed's lips: one last gift .. one last  
touch. He whispered, " Vas avec Dieu, Mon Amor." (Go with God, My Love.)

Barbara, seeing the look of disgust on the faces of some of the people  
present went forward and did the same. She cast one silent look at  
her son. Ray squeezed Fraser's hand and went to stand beside his mother.  
He, too, leaned down and kissed Ed. Fraser repeated the action. It  
was important to display their support for the surviving member of this  
young couple who had been ripped apart by place and circumstance. 

Barbara held out her hand and Evangeline stood. With a heart full of  
pain and unquenchable loss, she took Barbara's hand and leaned down and  
kissed her son for one last time. Her silent tears fell upon his face.  
Then she took Antoine in her arms and kissed him. It was an open acknowledgment  
to all present that she accepted Antoine as if he were her own son. 

. . . . . . . . . . 

The scene at the cemetery was a typical policeman's funeral. The 27th  
turned out in full measure. Even Lt. Welsh was wearing his uniform.  
The pipe and drum corps played the hauntingly beautiful 'Amazing Grace',  
a melody that was all to familiar. The six pallbearers: Fraser, Kowalski,  
Vecchio, Huey, Dewey, and Welsh carried the casket of their fallen comrade  
from the hearse to the gravesite. 

Fraser clenched his teeth. Some of them had done this before, when Louis  
Guardino had been killed. He turned his thoughts away from that painful  
episode in his life. 

As the honor guard fired the twenty one gun salute, Damien took his wife's  
hand in his and gave it a squeeze. In the back of their minds was the  
same thought: 'It could have been Stanley. It could have been Ben.'


End file.
